Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

I thought I did too, although I was pretty sure that my younger teenage daughter was obfuscating just a bit recently when laying out her weekend itinerary for my approval. I continued to require check-in times, other parents’ names and phone numbers, and inquired about peer pressures surrounding drugs, sex and alcohol. I wasn’t convinced. I reminded her about the consequences for lying to me or deceiving me relating to any behaviors that could prove dangerous to her well being, or the well being of others. She assured me with a straight face and pure innocent conviction that she was my sweet little monkey and would never stray from my wishes nor venture to betray my trust. I wasn’t buying it, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by expressing such distrust.

I liked to say that I offer my children a long leash with a tight collar, however it was beginning to feel as if my daughters, especially my young one, had the ability to slip from the collar at whim, and yet have me believe that she was faithfully wearing it, more as a favor to me, to make me feel more secure. It worked…for a while.

One evening, not so long ago, my sweet monkey was talking with me, via her cell phone, explaining what her plans were for that Friday evening. By my standards, these plans were quite convoluted, and something just didn’t feel right. I was working a late shift and was unable to make the efforts to make the necessary parental corroboration, but something prompted me to check in on her at one point, rather late in the evening. I called her cell phone but she didn’t answer. I did this three or four times with the same results. I was reminded by my frustration that the purpose of my purchasing and maintaining my children’s cell phones was to ensure easy communication between them, and me; if I could only remind her of this little forgotten factoid right at this moment.

I finally got fed up and worried enough to call the mother of my daughter’s good friend, whom was thought to be with her. She was less than reassuring that our daughters were sticking to a plan and all was ok. I then asked if she might attempt to call her daughter, which she did, but was also surprised when her daughter didn’t answer. This is where I turned to modern technology.

I had previously signed up for a service offered by Sprint called Sprint Family Locator. This feature, once added to my cellular phone service, allows me to locate the cell phones on my phone plan by going onto a website and simply clicking on my daughter’s name. The phone, so long as it is turned on and within the Sprint cell coverage area, is triangulated through the cell towers, picking up on the small identification signals transmitted from every cell phone, called pings. This is not always a very accurate locator, often measured in +/- many yards, compared to the accuracy of GPS technology, which can be often measured in feet, but if the cell signal is strong, then it can be quite precise. On this particular night it was spot on, and what it told me, after conducting a couple of false negative tests, was that my daughter was not where she was supposed to be. In fact, she was nowhere even close. So, as I was preparing to leave work early and track down my sweet angel at her clandestine location, I made one final attempt to call her. Low and behold, she answered, and let’s just say that she wasn’t doing too good. She confessed to attending an impromptu party, drank alcohol, got sick (hee, hee), and vowed never to do this sort of thing again. I had her friend’s mother pick her up immediately and bring her home, and this was the beginning of an entirely new relationship between my daughter and me. The trust slate was cleared and so we started anew.

It is experiences such as these that are the birthright of all teenagers, and yet as parents, we must do all that we can to disrupt these dangerous activities and behaviors, at least as much as safety demands, and it is doubly important for us to remember that our experiences as teenagers are not the same as theirs: Times are different, drugs are stronger, predators are more brazen, sexual behavior has become more audacious, technology has vastly widened the otherwise comfortable geographic parameters, and parents have become more lenient and trusting. So it is with this that I, as a father, a former member of law enforcement, and now as a Private Investigator, urge parents to do whatever it takes to be more watchful over our children. If it means using technology to track, and to keep track of our kids; then so be it. It shouldn’t matter that they won’t like it, they’ll thank you later.

Laying Down The Law-Drug use

Any use of drugs or alcohol should not be tolerated...PERIOD! It's illegal, dangerous, addictive and need not be a part of your child's life nor your family's life. Learn the symptoms, signs and signals that might suggest the use of drugs or alcohol by your children, and perhaps more importantly, talk to them about it. Find out if they use, have ever used, intend to use, or whether or not their friends are using. Talk to the other parents. Let them know how you feel about drug use, and inform them about the signs of abuse.

I have laid down the law at my home with my two teenage girls, and I've expressed my feelings about drug use to them. I have a zero tolerance rule, and have unfortunately needed to implement strong consequences due to a breach in these rules. After this home-rule violation occurred, I stepped up the punishment threat to the dreaded "No drivers license until 18". No ifs, ands, or buts. I even suggested that they disconnect from certain drug using friends if they didn't want the peer pressures that often accompany these situations. I also explained that if they were to come home or into my car smelling like smoke of any kind, that the "Oh, my friend was smoking near me" excuse carried the same punitive action. In other words, don't hang out with others who are using!

If you suspect that your child is using marijuana, alcohol, meth, cocaine or other illicit drugs, you can contact me at Theia investigations. I carry two kinds of in-home drug detection kits that you can purchase directly from me, or I can come out to your home and conduct the testing for you.

Although liquor is often the substance of choice for teenagers, the primary deterrent for easy access to booze is to simply LOCK IT UP! Also, remind your teens that if they are caught buying, holding or drinking alcohol, they stand to lose their driving privilege for an extended period.

In addition to alcohol and marijuana, a few other drugs of choice are listed below:

Ecstasy (MDMA), also known as the "happy pill" as it makes users excited and euphoric. It can also cause permanent brain damage by killing cells that release the neurotransmitter substance, serotonin.

Nitrous Oxide (whipits), often found in aerosol sprays, i.e., whipped cream, hair spray and can be purchased in balloons by local drug dealers.

Dextromethorphan (DXM), another favorite among youngsters as it is legally and readily available. This liquid is taken orally and is found in many cough suppressants. In high doses, it can be quite dangerous.

Crystal methamphetamine (crank). This stimulant can be smoked, eaten, snorted or injected. This drug is highly addictive and can cause psychotic behavior.

Heroin. Another highly addictive narcotic that can be injected, snorted or smoked. This drug is a relaxant and can sometimes be quite difficult to detect if used in small and infrequent quantities, however usage is often increased in quantity and frequency.

Keep a watchful eye on your children. Of course they will consider it annoying, unfair, perhaps even abusive. They will surely explain to you that their friend's parents don't "stalk" them, and will certainly display an abundance of displeasure by your prodding, hovering and demands, but they will, in the end, thank you for your efforts and unrelenting concern for their safety and well-being.